Accidentally Vegan: Regrettable brownies

I am admitting failure.

I’m not sure what wrong turn I took, or how I managed to make brownies that morph into stones, but I did it.

The only way I would recommend this recipe is for a brave attempt at breaking someone’s teeth. These things turn to rocks.

I began mixing, altering the recipe a bit, as I usually do. Unaware of the approaching failure that was before me.

My first mistake was putting the batter into a pan far too deep for the brownies. One look in the oven and I found what resembled a lava of bubbling batter. I quickly attempted to transfer the mix to a thinner pan.

Okay. I got this, now.

Nope.

The brownies burnt on the outside, and left the inside liquid. Cutting them and removing them from the pan was a task in itself. I put them aside to deal with later.

Little did I realize that in that time the brownies were becoming the consistency of a sidewalk. It’s a good thing (sort of) that I tried them earlier, if I had bitten I would have chipped a tooth.

Not to mention they tasted like sand.

Here’s the recipe, incase you’re in need of a good prank:

• 1/2 cup of vegan chocolate, melted
• 1/3 cup of canola oil
• 1 cup of granulated sugar
• 2 tsp of vanilla extract
• 1/3 cup of soy/almond milk
• 1 1/2 cups of flour
• 1/2 cup of cacao powder
• 1 1/2 tsp of baking powder
• 2 candy canes, crushed

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350.
2. Stir together chocolate, oil, sugar, vanilla and milk substitute.
3. Whisk together flour, cacao powder and baking powder.
4. Combine mixtures, stir in candy cane.
5. Transfer to greased pan, and bake for 22-25 minutes.
6. Crumble a candy cane on top when they come out of the oven, let cool.

 

While this recipe was a disaster, let it be known that delicious vegan brownies exist. Pamela’s Products make a delicious mix that is available at Green Tree. Vegan food can be hit or miss, and experiments often rely on luck.

Luckily these weren’t made for a friend, they were just made for the trash.