Story by Samantha Shriber
Feature Photo by Tessa Harvey
Whether scavenging for a midnight hookup, friendship or simply more Snapchat companions, Tinder provides a digital meeting ground for millennials of all shapes and sizes.
Under Urban Dictionary, the app is described as, “resulting in pretty much consistent disappointment and frustration.” Although this method of mingling does not guarantee long-term relationships or successful encounters, it definitely proves that the world is copious in diverse personalities. All individual users are different, though some certainly flourish under particular categories. Below are several identities you risk running into on Tinder, as told by popular social media outlets.
They are the most well accomplished, animal-loving and politically active of Tinder’s kingdom. After scrolling exhaustingly through unimpressive profiles, you have finally come across someone who appears to live under quite uplifting circumstances. Indeed, you wonder if their profile is better designed to please their grandparents as opposed to fellow college students.
Their identities are portrayed by images of them succeeding in athletics, playing joyously with their younger siblings and graduating with honors. At least one photo features some sort of fuzzy, adorable animal (most likely a dog). They are the beauty queens, quarterbacks and RSO presidents who may include “Still feeling the Bern” or “Trump’s not my president” in their bios.
After traveling leftward through countless, yawn-worthy (sometimes greasy) suitors, you have finally hit the diamond in the rough. Their profile never fails to make users swoon, twinkling in a sequence of flawless skin, aesthetically wooing filters and war-ending smiles. You are entrapped by intrigue and confusion as you feel the urge to swipe right.
Although their biography lacks substance, their hair, body-type and photogenic-qualities makes up for it abundantly. You know looks aren’t everything this world has to offer, but if they were, these Tinder users would be winning the game.
While the Instagram clique relies on dazzling good looks and physical attributes to attract interest, these Tinder users supply humorous, charming biographies to mesmerized their peers. The instant you click their profile you chuckle at the outrageous things they aren’t afraid to say. Indeed, these individuals are the perfect embodiment of comedy, courage and ridiculousness.
In response to such an identity, you are both captivated and sort of appalled. They succeed to be effortlessly comical, and grasp your attention with their words. Although they are far from Shakespeare and Fitzgerald, they are the new romantics of a clearly unromantic generation. They offer you to “cash them ousside, how bah dah?” and are not afraid to admit their passion for memes, MILFs and taking L’s.
Often, these are the users that make you say, “Oh, yeah, they’re a hipster.” Profile photos may include but are not limited to: beanie wearing, chilling off of the side of canyons, European travel, attending EDM concerts and socializing at chic coffee shops. They look forward to sharing their passions and dreams with you, all in an elaborate scheme to expand humanity’s mind.
They make mind-blowing introductions and evaluate your interests, all while discussing their favorite television series and 90s rappers. Their wardrobe features psychedelic crewnecks, retro sneakers and tight pants. Although they may come off as a little extra in context, they never fail to keep Tinder “original.”
Snapchat allows its users to show off their exciting and fabulous lives exactly as they unfold. It is the realm of party-going, concert-attending and vacation-taking crazies who want to remind everyone exactly how awesome life can be.
These Tinder users are the exact same way. Their photos are fascinating to lurk through and leave their viewers envious. Matching with them provides unlimited access to the hottest events on campus and beyond.
You swiped right because you were intrigued, but unfortunately all you received in response was a blank wall. They never message, never update their profile and most likely deleted the app.
Left, right, no matter which way you swipe, there is something new around every corner!
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