How to Navigate Love in College

Story by Shelbey Pena
Photo Courtesy of Flickr

You’re in college, and you might think a relationship a would just be a waste of time.

I will either get hurt or settle for someone who will not benefit me.

Many college students have these same thoughts and although it is good to focus on academics and yourself instead of finding love, do not put up your walls when love finds you.

For some, college is the time when you will find the person you will be with for the rest of your life.

If you have had your heart broken, it is easy to put up walls and ignore any potential love that comes your way, but do not do that. Just get to know people, and along the way, you will get to know yourself better as well.

Finding Love
The key to finding love is to find yourself. Do the things you love, be the person you were afraid to be in high school, erase any toxic people from your past and just be you. When you have found yourself, you are ready to let love in.

As said before, do not settle for anyone, but do search. 

As much as the saying “If it is meant to be, it will be,” is true, there has to be some effort put into that. Some people are going to be shy and are not going to know if you feel the same way so, in some cases, you have to be the one to show interest and ask questions.

It may seem hard to tell the difference between someone who has genuine interest in you and someone who only has interest for the night, but it’s not.

If someone is genuinely interested in you, they will take the time to get to know you and will not leave just because they aren’t “getting any.” It’s college. If that is what they were looking for, they could just swipe right on Tinder.

Learning to Love
Let’s say you have found this person. You have already learned to love, but now you have to learn to be loved again. To do so, you have to be comfortable opening up to this person. He or she may love you, but you want them to love all of you. Secrets are never safe in a relationship, no matter how big or small.

Sometimes learning to be loved is harder than learning to love. It may be instinct to start out with an uneasy trust toward people, and you may even find yourself worried that they actually have no interest in you whatsoever. Try to keep these thoughts vacant from your mind for it will only build your walls higher.

All of this is a lot to take in, and it may be even harder when coming out of a relationship because you’re scared of repeat issues. Don’t let the fear of repeat issues get to your head.

This is a new person, a clean slate, someone who will get to know the real you, someone who you could possibly be with for the rest of your life. Do them and yourself a favor and give it a chance.

It’s important to remember that even though you may have gone through a breakup that has only made you put your walls up, you have to make sure they’re low enough to love in.