A Note to Someone Who is Newly Single

Nothing is easy about ending a long-term relationship, but it’s not an end all. Instead of wallowing in our self-pity, listening to Taylor Swift on repeat and eating ice cream, we should view the situation from a different perspective.

While life without your now ex-lover has you thinking you’re headed down a bumpy road, it can actually be a very liberating journey.

Here are a few things every newly single person should commit to while adjusting to riding solo.

Date yourself.

Your twenties are for learning about who you really are and having the time of your life before becoming a full-time adult. These years are the time to define your passions, values and interests. We have the rest of our lives to meet the person we love and be happily ever after.

If you are someone who is just coming out of a long-term relationship, remember that it’s always reassuring knowing that you’re doing all right by yourself. It sometimes feels really good to be on your own, knowing that you and only you are who controls your happiness.

Take a little bit of time out of your life to be alone and learn to love it.

Spend quality time and energy on your friends and family.

These are the people who won’t wake up one morning and decide they no longer love you. In fact, they’ll love you regardless of your imperfections, which makes them the most essential souls in your life.

Be sure to take this time being single to remind your friends and family how much you genuinely appreciate them. A road trip, Sunday morning breakfast, even just a small note are great gestures to show loved ones you care.

As sad as it is, we must remember that these people won’t be around forever. There’s a chance that one day, they won’t be right around the block. Spend as much time and show as much love and appreciation toward them as you possibly can.

Observe other relationships.

Many people think that learning of the things you want and don’t want in a relationship are learned by being in one yourself. However, from personal experience, I have found that we learn many of the things we love and loathe by watching other relationships.

We have the ability to view things from the outside looking in on our friends’, classmates’ and family members’ relationships. It’s easier seeing how high points and rough patches play out in relationships when you’re not one of the main characters.

While enjoying life with the people you love, also take advantage of the fact that you can learn and grow from them.

Remain cordial with your ex.

I don’t mean hang out every day and be in each other’s business. Being friends with your ex consists of saying hello when you see each other or sending a text on their birthday.

Since this person was once a big part of your life and a best friend, you shouldn’t erase the time spent together and forget their existence. Give yourself and your ex time to heal, but remind yourself they were a big part of your life for a reason.

Do what YOU want.

In a few short years, many of us will have careers and be married, or both. The time we have in college is time we should use to live our lives to their full extent.

These are the years we should spend doing things we won’t be telling our grandchildren about when we’re 70 years old. Plenty of mistakes will be made, but in saying that, many lessons will be learned.

Right now is the point in your life where you should be making decisions on your own.