Relationship Advice: How to survive a break-up

While some students had to say goodbye to the long summer nights by the fire or the fun playful times at the beach, others had to wave farewell to summer flings, former flames and relationships that just weren’t strong enough to last.

Filling your mouth with Ben & Jerry’s or burning pictures of your ex won’t help you survive a break-up, but the tips below might.

Tip #1: Don’t be afraid to cry

To some people, crying can be seen as a sign of weakness. However when it comes to heartbreak, letting that emotion out will make you feel much better than holding it in. Whether you discovered the love of your life was cheating on you or the guy you had the summer fling with is not going to be able to stick around, cry it out with a box of tissues.

Tip #2: Get together with your friends

After the tears have fallen and your eyes recover from the puffiness, you need to vent. And what better people to talk about your relationship problems than your girlfriends? They love you, understand you and can always be counted on if you need someone to listen (and talk some sense into you). Chat over coffee, spend the evening bowling or invite them over to your place for a movie or television marathon. Let it all out, from how you thought that he was different from the rest or could be “the one” to the details of how it all went downhill and you knew the relationship was reaching it’s breaking point. Have your friends there for support while you wrap your head around the reality that it’s really over.

Tip #3: Get that person out of your mind

Now that you’ve said all that needs to be said, clear your ex out of your mind. Instead of analyzing over what you could’ve done differently to save your relationship—I know that’s what you want to do—accept the fact that it’s in the past and get on with your life. Fill up extra time by joining a RSO, volunteering at the volunteer center or doing something that makes you happy. You can also create your own playlist full of single girl anthems such as Beyoncé’s “Irreplaceable,” Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone,” Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” and Alanis Morissette’s “You Learn.” Sing at the top of your lungs and let music help you get through this rough time and if he/she wants to talk, let him/her talk to your voicemail. Don’t waste your time going back-and-forth when your relationship has reached a dead end.

Tip #4: Don’t freak out if you see him/her with another person

As you start acting like your normal self again, don’t let  apologies or missed phone calls draw you back in. You’ve made it this far and you can go farther. If you run into your ex outside of class or at the library, don’t freak out. You’ve moved on with your life. It will be awkward at first, but the less you think about running into them, the better off you’ll be. Before you know it, they’ll be flirting with other people. When that time comes, shake it off and let them have their fun because when you’re ready to get back into the dating game, you’ll have your fun as well.

Tip #5: Remember the good more than the bad

There’s something that can be learned from a failed relationship. Instead of reminiscing only on the bad, look at the good as well. Though you probably cried, you also smiled and laughed. Don’t let this relationship change how you feel about love or people in general. They’re all different and if you stay positive, you’ll find the right person sooner or later. You never know, maybe they in one of your new classes!